Glenbrook South Homestuck Club
How to find out who your REAL patron troll is!

 I’m here to tell you how to find your ~ACTUAL~ patron troll! 
John Egbert was born April 13th, which actually makes him an Aries. But Aradia isn’t his patron troll, it’s Vriska.
Here’s why~
April is the 4th month of the year, thus making his birthday 4-13 in those number date things.
Then, you smoosh all the numbers together, and create the number we all know and love! 413! Now put addition signs between each of the numbers. 4+1+3= 8. WOOOAHHH. Who’s the 8th sign in the Zodiac? VRISKA. Woah man!

Next, Jade!
Her birthday is December 1st. Which is 12-2. And together 121. 1+2+2= 4. Who’s the fourth sign in the Zodiac? Cancer!! Thus Jade’s patron troll is Karkat.
December 3rd. 12-3. 123. 1+2+3= 6. Virgo is the sixth sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Kanaya is Rose’s patron troll.
December 4th. 12-4. 124. 1+2+4= 7. Libra is the seventh sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Terezi is Dave’s patron troll.
Woah man, did I just blow your mind? I hope so.
This also helps me remember all the kid’s birthdays.
Anyway, another example. My birthday is September 21, so 9-21, 921, 9+2+1=12. Thus my patron is Feferi. 
Another note, you may get an answer OVER 12! Do not fret, the next step is pulling up your calculator and dividing the sum by 12. If the product is 1.5 or less, your patron is Aradia. If it’s 1.6 or higher, it’s Tavros. (At least, these are guidelines I go by.)
Anywayyy, thanks for reading. Just, the whole “I’m a Virgo thus my patron is Kanaya” thing is one of my pet peeves!
And for your reference:
1 - Aradia
2 - Tavros
3 - Sollux 
4 - Karkat
5 - Nepeta
6 - Kanaya
7 - Terezi
8 - Vriska
9 - Equius
10 - Gamzee
11 - Eridan
12 - Feferi
  1. misarium-chan reblogged this from sweatergoggles and added:
    The fuck I got Equius.
  2. readyforhoenn reblogged this from sweatergoggles
  3. sweatergoggles reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  4. pfmzkzrefs reblogged this from togamiegbert
  5. zoegaming reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  6. martyslittleusedblog reblogged this from homestuckresources and added:
    So then, lemme see… I was born on September 9th — 9/9… 9+9=18… 18/12=1.5… My real patron troll, then, is Aradia. Crap....
  7. lemonsprout reblogged this from ruf1ohn1tram
  8. hiss-hiss-im-a-basilisk reblogged this from drwh00v35f4n and added:
    zodiac eridan and patron sollux
  9. drwh00v35f4n reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    aw yeah, patron is terezi and zodiac is gamzee >:o]
  10. page-of-heart reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    Naturally, I got Equius…
  11. why-d9es-kankri-speak-in-num6ers reblogged this from gbshomestuck
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