Glenbrook South Homestuck Club
How to find out who your REAL patron troll is!

 I’m here to tell you how to find your ~ACTUAL~ patron troll! 
John Egbert was born April 13th, which actually makes him an Aries. But Aradia isn’t his patron troll, it’s Vriska.
Here’s why~
April is the 4th month of the year, thus making his birthday 4-13 in those number date things.
Then, you smoosh all the numbers together, and create the number we all know and love! 413! Now put addition signs between each of the numbers. 4+1+3= 8. WOOOAHHH. Who’s the 8th sign in the Zodiac? VRISKA. Woah man!

Next, Jade!
Her birthday is December 1st. Which is 12-2. And together 121. 1+2+2= 4. Who’s the fourth sign in the Zodiac? Cancer!! Thus Jade’s patron troll is Karkat.
Rose:
December 3rd. 12-3. 123. 1+2+3= 6. Virgo is the sixth sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Kanaya is Rose’s patron troll.
Dave:
Dave:
December 4th. 12-4. 124. 1+2+4= 7. Libra is the seventh sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Terezi is Dave’s patron troll.
Woah man, did I just blow your mind? I hope so.
This also helps me remember all the kid’s birthdays.
Anyway, another example. My birthday is September 21, so 9-21, 921, 9+2+1=12. Thus my patron is Feferi. 
Another note, you may get an answer OVER 12! Do not fret, the next step is pulling up your calculator and dividing the sum by 12. If the product is 1.5 or less, your patron is Aradia. If it’s 1.6 or higher, it’s Tavros. (At least, these are guidelines I go by.)
Anywayyy, thanks for reading. Just, the whole “I’m a Virgo thus my patron is Kanaya” thing is one of my pet peeves!
And for your reference:
1 - Aradia
2 - Tavros
3 - Sollux 
4 - Karkat
5 - Nepeta
6 - Kanaya
7 - Terezi
8 - Vriska
9 - Equius
10 - Gamzee
11 - Eridan
12 - Feferi
  1. kismesiseridan reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  2. kateitron reblogged this from viria
  3. sokkeo reblogged this from viria
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  7. swifty-subaki reblogged this from vanilla-bar and added:
    Actually, there are two types of Patron Trolls. This one is mathematical, the other one is by date of birth. Both of...
  8. vanilla-bar reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    wait then why do the alpha kids have different patron trolls? Jane’s is Gamzee, etc?
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    Gamzee… I’m not sure I’m ok with this. ~
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