Glenbrook South Homestuck Club
How to find out who your REAL patron troll is!

 I’m here to tell you how to find your ~ACTUAL~ patron troll! 
John Egbert was born April 13th, which actually makes him an Aries. But Aradia isn’t his patron troll, it’s Vriska.
Here’s why~
April is the 4th month of the year, thus making his birthday 4-13 in those number date things.
Then, you smoosh all the numbers together, and create the number we all know and love! 413! Now put addition signs between each of the numbers. 4+1+3= 8. WOOOAHHH. Who’s the 8th sign in the Zodiac? VRISKA. Woah man!

Next, Jade!
Her birthday is December 1st. Which is 12-2. And together 121. 1+2+2= 4. Who’s the fourth sign in the Zodiac? Cancer!! Thus Jade’s patron troll is Karkat.
Rose:
December 3rd. 12-3. 123. 1+2+3= 6. Virgo is the sixth sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Kanaya is Rose’s patron troll.
Dave:
Dave:
December 4th. 12-4. 124. 1+2+4= 7. Libra is the seventh sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Terezi is Dave’s patron troll.
Woah man, did I just blow your mind? I hope so.
This also helps me remember all the kid’s birthdays.
Anyway, another example. My birthday is September 21, so 9-21, 921, 9+2+1=12. Thus my patron is Feferi. 
Another note, you may get an answer OVER 12! Do not fret, the next step is pulling up your calculator and dividing the sum by 12. If the product is 1.5 or less, your patron is Aradia. If it’s 1.6 or higher, it’s Tavros. (At least, these are guidelines I go by.)
Anywayyy, thanks for reading. Just, the whole “I’m a Virgo thus my patron is Kanaya” thing is one of my pet peeves!
And for your reference:
1 - Aradia
2 - Tavros
3 - Sollux 
4 - Karkat
5 - Nepeta
6 - Kanaya
7 - Terezi
8 - Vriska
9 - Equius
10 - Gamzee
11 - Eridan
12 - Feferi
  1. thatobsessiveblonde reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    YAY I’m Terezi! :D much much MUCH better than Equius
  2. thebigbadwerewolf reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    ((**Rose’s birthday is December 4th)) My birthday is December 3rd and yup… Kanaya would be my patron troll ^w^
  3. shit-just-got-serious reblogged this from tavrosgamzee and added:
    my patrON TROLL IS TAVROS- I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO FUCKING HAPPY IN MY LIFE HNNNNNNNNNNNG~ THANK YOU, THANK YOU MOTHER...
  4. fade-to-oblivion reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  5. drinbert reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  6. priestofdreams reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  7. tavrosgamzee reblogged this from demonoflight and added:
    eVERYONE SHOULD DO THI.S
  8. wordweaver1001 reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  9. quaverstranger reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  10. siezai reblogged this from demonoflight
  11. bethhhanay reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  12. adirkablestrider reblogged this from demonoflight
  13. toboe4ever reblogged this from demonoflight and added:
    I got Sollux then.. .3.
  14. bluebead reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    At first I thought my patron was Tavros because “herp derp I’m Taurus”, but now I know my patron is actually Aradia. I’m...
  15. typing-ailement reblogged this from windatyourfeels
  16. thevexatiousvixen reblogged this from homestuckresources
  17. silentstriderhill reblogged this from demonoflight
  18. ailecjen reblogged this from demonoflight
  19. urgesoutrageous reblogged this from demonoflight
  20. s2pd reblogged this from demonoflight and added:
    I GOT PUPAPAN
  21. ladyskorpia reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  22. katgirl28888 reblogged this from demonoflight and added:
    I do it slightly differently; my birthday is Nov. 4, so 11+4=15. Fifteen is over 12. So, I just add the two digits....
  23. donttouch-mycape reblogged this from demonoflight
  24. brokencanofwhoopass reblogged this from alittlerubberduck
  25. krabwatch reblogged this from mihataki and added:
    There IS no right to this- it’s a load of bullshit. They transposed Dave and Rose’s birthdays
  26. mihataki reblogged this from demonoflight and added:
    If I did this correctly. 2/09 would be. 2+9 = 11 So Eridan? My patron is Eridan? Not minding, Just wondering if I did...