Glenbrook South Homestuck Club
How to find out who your REAL patron troll is!

 I’m here to tell you how to find your ~ACTUAL~ patron troll! 
John Egbert was born April 13th, which actually makes him an Aries. But Aradia isn’t his patron troll, it’s Vriska.
Here’s why~
April is the 4th month of the year, thus making his birthday 4-13 in those number date things.
Then, you smoosh all the numbers together, and create the number we all know and love! 413! Now put addition signs between each of the numbers. 4+1+3= 8. WOOOAHHH. Who’s the 8th sign in the Zodiac? VRISKA. Woah man!

Next, Jade!
Her birthday is December 1st. Which is 12-2. And together 121. 1+2+2= 4. Who’s the fourth sign in the Zodiac? Cancer!! Thus Jade’s patron troll is Karkat.
Rose:
December 3rd. 12-3. 123. 1+2+3= 6. Virgo is the sixth sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Kanaya is Rose’s patron troll.
Dave:
Dave:
December 4th. 12-4. 124. 1+2+4= 7. Libra is the seventh sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Terezi is Dave’s patron troll.
Woah man, did I just blow your mind? I hope so.
This also helps me remember all the kid’s birthdays.
Anyway, another example. My birthday is September 21, so 9-21, 921, 9+2+1=12. Thus my patron is Feferi. 
Another note, you may get an answer OVER 12! Do not fret, the next step is pulling up your calculator and dividing the sum by 12. If the product is 1.5 or less, your patron is Aradia. If it’s 1.6 or higher, it’s Tavros. (At least, these are guidelines I go by.)
Anywayyy, thanks for reading. Just, the whole “I’m a Virgo thus my patron is Kanaya” thing is one of my pet peeves!
And for your reference:
1 - Aradia
2 - Tavros
3 - Sollux 
4 - Karkat
5 - Nepeta
6 - Kanaya
7 - Terezi
8 - Vriska
9 - Equius
10 - Gamzee
11 - Eridan
12 - Feferi
  1. vicariousanarchist reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  2. iknowhesfictionalshutup reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  3. unsinkableshipper reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  4. eulerstalker reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  5. psychorampage reblogged this from kingjofferyluvstheladies
  6. lightning-shaker reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    Gamzee… I’m not sure I’m ok with this. ~
  7. untimely-weather reblogged this from kingjofferyluvstheladies
  8. radioactive-paws reblogged this from kingjofferyluvstheladies
  9. kingjofferyluvstheladies reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  10. ryankirkland42 reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  11. windyboy2 reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  12. i-am-teh-eternal-cheesecake reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  13. an-epic-kitten reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  14. ourfeathereddomain reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  15. myrandomfandomplace reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    “Next, Jade! Her birthday is December 1st. Which is 12-2. And together 121. 1+2+2= 4. Who’s the fourth sign in the...
  16. thealmightydumbooctopus reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  17. jade-dash reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  18. the-last-shaman reblogged this from gbshomestuck
  19. clubbytubbygang reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    Mine’s Terezi! :D
  20. enderbrine265 reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    Mine is Karkat!
  21. umbreonmindfang reblogged this from gbshomestuck and added:
    Fef? Really? But I’m a Scorpio and vriska’s my fav troll anyway.
  22. lalalykos reblogged this from alphazeox and added:
    I got Eridan ^u^
  23. meadragetart reblogged this from homestuckresources
  24. gruntledeggcorn reblogged this from actuallytipsygnostalgic
  25. guaranteedoffense reblogged this from homestuckresources
  26. selinamakara reblogged this from homestuckresources
  27. epsilon-poison reblogged this from homestuckresources
  28. actualestonia reblogged this from homestuckresources